Finding Your Authentic Self

Finding Your Authentic Self

Are you living your authentic life (who you were born to be) or living a life based on who you think you should be? Being true to yourself requires being authentic. In part, this means that you are able to express your feelings, values, truths, and passions in life. You follow your heart and because of this your expressions, choices, and behaviors continue to move you forward into the life you genuinely wish to be living. Following your authentic voice gives meaning to your actions and to your life.

It might be more appropriate to say that your authentic voice is not so much a voice, as a decision to follow inner truths and wisdom. This means being aware of gut feelings, physical sensations, intuition, inner knowingness, and desires. It means stating your truth in the moment, focusing on your dreams, and utilizing your unique strengths and talents to bring those dreams to life. Your authentic self is your essence, your core values, and your awareness of what is right or wrong for you.

We have all heard for years that what is on the inside is most important. However, we often dismiss, or block out, what is within our core. Yet, when you are not faithful to your authentic self, you find yourself playing a role and trying to do things right for others to gain their approval, validation, and acceptance from outside of yourself. Therefore, it becomes necessary to adapt to certain standards of appearance, act in certain acceptable ways, and live up to perfectionistic standards. The price you pay is that you may feel incomplete, or believe you are too fat, unlovable, unworthy, or undeserving. When you make mistakes, you may believe you are incompetent, you have blown it again, you cannot do anything right, or you cannot have what you want.

Choosing your actions and expressions for the wrong reasons is a surefire way to drain the passion, optimism, and energy from life. To get back on track, study the two lists below and discover what your authentic voice sounds like:

Non-Authentic Voice
critical
discourages
nags loudly
chaotic
drives
judgmental
"thinks" it knows
destructive
leads to depression
negative
tense
fearful
tells you what you "should" be doing
guilt
shame
based on fear and insecurity

Authentic Voice
permissive
supportive
encouraging
leads toward new desired outcomes
creative and open to new ideas
constructive
leads to hope
positive
brings life energy
compassionate
courageous
flowing
speaks, "I could"
hopeful

Connecting With Your Authentic Self:

What is the purpose of your life? What makes life worth getting up for you?
Is what you are doing really what you yearn for? What are your dreams?
If you only had one year to live, what would you do?Why aren't you doing it now?
If I allowed people to really see me, _______________________.
What do you really want in your truest self? My deepest longings are _______________________.
Can you stand up for yourself and not put others first all the time? What will allow that to happen?
Are you holding back or afraid because you feel someone or something has blocked you? What choices do you have?
Where have you been looking for what you want in the wrong places?
What are you afraid of? Where in your body do you carry this fear?
How do your fears keep you trapped behind your mask?
What are your defense mechanisms?

Use these questions to reconnect with who you are and determine what is important to you. Then, gather resources and support, and use your talents and desires to get into action to live an authentic life!

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Copyright 1997–2009 Annette Colby, PhD. All rights reserved in all media.

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