Living Life With Joy

An interesting thing happened today...





A friend called asking me how I was doing with everything going on in my life...





I was able to honestly answer... pretty good. Although there are some trials going on, overall life is good and I am happy. I have been blessed with so many wonderful people and things in my life.





I was out having a cigarette just a little while ago and my neighbor popped out to smoke too. We were standing there shooting the breeze talking about the weather and stuff. I was telling her about how I had been watching the thunderdstorm up on the mountain earlier out my window. She mentioned how being in this little corner of the apartment complex really is nice because we do have nice views.





It isn't just the views... This little corner of the complex is quiet, there is little ruckas over here (unlike other parts of the complex) and the neighbors are pleasant to visit with on the occassions that we are outside at the same time. Then there is my little apartment itself. It is comfortable, although small, it has enough room for me and the children. We have enough space for us. It is a nice transitional home. The little apartment is a blessing and I am quite happy in it.





Although not having a car isn't wonderful in many ways it is still a blessing as strange as it sounds. I am able to save a large amount of money between insurance, gas, and basic upkeep costs. I am also getting lots of fresh air and sunshine being out walking everywhere. When the girls and I are walking around doing whatever it is we need to do, I am getting more conversation with them then I got driving in the car. It's pretty cool.



There is so much in my life to be joyful about. Even the not so wonderful stuff has brought blessings. With what is going on with my son's father, it is very distressing at times. BUT it has actually brought blessings.



The first, the one that really is just JOYFUL is that my daughter's father stepped up when this all happened. He heard about it and called me and has been stopping by every few days to see how we are doing. He has been spending time with my daughter and she is really feeling good about getting to know her father.



At school, the children made father's day cards. She was so proud that she was able to make one for her "Belly Button Dad". She came home that day and asked if it was OK that she didn't make "daddy" one, just her Belly Button Dad. I told her it was fine that she did that. She was so proud of it and sat for almost an hour telling me all about everything she had drawn and all about what it all meant. Truly something to be joyful about. And had this not happened with my son's father I am not sure her father would have done this.



Also a joy and blessing, in a really odd sort of way... over the last almost year, there has been a feeling of oppression and depression about the relationship between my son's father and I. Although there were good times and peaceful times there was an underlying discomfort over it. Now, there is a sense of relief. Never again do I have to deal with this man. His bad choices have made it so that I can move forward with a life that has nothing to do with him.

And for me it is SO liberating and freeing and JOYFUL! I no longer feel a need to compromise myself just to keep things peaceful for my son. It was rather interesting... when my son's father's wife called me the night everything went down, she was telling me how he had been telling her things like how he had to "pretend" to be in a relationship with me to be able to see his son. I just let her talk. No need to bring it all up... but it was rather amusing in a way. He had her convinced that it was just for his son that he was doing all this stuff for. I say funny because well, if I didn't sit ith him during a visit, if I went off talking on my computer or talking on the phone with a friend, or whatever... he would get all bent out of shape.

Now I can do things like go hang out with my male friends without getting the bullshit about if I might be having sex with them... I always found it rather amusing that he would get so bent if I was out with someone else when HELLO he was married. He did not want me moving on... So this is really a good place to be now. No more of his garbage in my life.

Life really is good now. On top of everything else good in my life is finally seeing light at the end of the financial troubles. Rather interesting that over the last 2 years with everything with my son's father, finances have been a constant struggle. Even when I had a larger income, it was a struggle. Now I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel. Once we get through this month and all the end of year/graduation expences, we are going to actually have money going into savings again. How exciting!